One Hour Alone

I find myself tonight with One (blessed) Hour Alone. Two kids are at a friend's. One is at basketball practice. Two more are at a game.

Can you say, "Aaaaah....?"

We just finished the first week back to school after a much-needed break. It's the final end to our Normal Insanity that is known in other places simply as "December."

We had our moments. For one thing, I was crying my eyes out the last night before school got out. Around nine o'clock I realized that, in addition to multiple other acts of omission I'd committed that week, I'd forgotten to buy a coloring book and a box of 24 crayons (they were very specific about that part) for Ruthie-6's gift exchange the next morning, even after her kindergarten teacher had personally come to remind me ("She's the only one who doesn't have a present under the class tree," she whispered as gently as she could, which of course I heard as, "She's the only one with a mom that can't pull it together.").

Even as I assured her it was on my list and I would take care of it, the phone was ringing, and it was Neal-15. "Are you coming to my game?" Game? Tonight? Oh, yes, today is Thursday. Of course, I will be there. Then the game ran into basketball practice which ran into bath time, which ran into trying to get excited kids to bed because they've been up too late all week, which suddenly ran into nine o'clock.

Now, I suppose to you city folks who have a Wal-mart on every corner, this seems a non-issue. Just run out to Wal-mart or 7-11 and pick up the dumb coloring book. And don't forget the 24-count box of crayons! However, you must understand, nine o'clock is the hour at which this entire town shuts down. And by entire town, I mean The Grocery Store and Dollar General.

So by the time Dennis called to check on things (he had been doing birthday/Christmas running around - for me - and hadn't even been home yet), I had already sent Allie-16 and Neal-15 to Dollar General to see if they could bang on the door to see if someone would have pity on them and sell them a coloring book and box of crayons, something I would only try in Small Town ("'We're the school nurse's kids,' you can tell them."). And I was crying and laughing and crying again at the stupidity of my crying over a two dollar coloring book, which we all know wasn't really just about the coloring book (or the 24 crayons), but was really about Everything Else in Life that seemed overwhelming at that moment.

Dennis knew we were one day away from a nice break, so rather than discuss the psychological ramifications of my dilemma, otherwise known as Why You Shouldn't Be Crying, he chose the chivalrous route: He drove seven miles out of the way to The Grocery Store in the next town. "It's going to be okay, Babe," he kept telling me. "It's going to be okay." Yes, I suppose it is. And it was. Oh, how I love that man.

So we made it through Christmas programs;
two more birthdays (here is one; I'm having issues with my memory card to upload the other);
Christmas;
a very bad (okay, granted, it's TEXAS) ice/snow storm (we got to drive on this ice rink on Christmas Day);
a wonderful 50th anniversary party (don't you just want to look as good as my sweet mother-in-law after 50 years with your man?);
And I got most of the painting done on the sunroom, so last Saturday my side of the family gathered here our annual Christmas/birthday/New Year's/etc. get together. We aren't very good at organizing ourselves in front of a tripod, as you can see. This is the first time in several years that my parents have gotten to see my in-laws. Annie-8, asked, "Do they even know each other?" To which I replied, "Of course they do! They met the week of our wedding!" But THAT's another story!Our college-age nieces introduced us to "Zoo" (a rhythm game). My dad (see the back of his head next to me) at 71 is a terribly good sport (and just a mite competitive), and played along with the rest of us crazies. He gets even crazier when we play Balderdash.
So now it's back to usual. The tree is down, everyone's gone back home. But I left a few Christmas-y things up, which now includes a 24-count box of crayons, just so I could savor the moment.

Life is good.

Merry Christmas!

Now unto the King eternal,
immortal,
invisible,
the only wise God,
be honour and glory
for ever and ever.
Amen.

Seasons

I stayed home the other day (my first sick day on my new job) fighting a huge headache and body aches. I spent the day in a heavily medicated sleep (only the strongest over-the-counter cold/flu medicine will do). I briefly thought about posting that day, but...why? It was the first time I'd had a few moments guilt-free to lie around and just really not care that the house was a disaster and that the kids were fixing themselves all manner of junk food in the kitchen. There's always tomorrow.

So (once the fog clears and the kitchen's remotely clean) what does one write about, when one hasn't written in weeks?

Hmm. Well, for one thing, seasons. Yep. That's the best way I can describe our family as we've adjusted to my w-w-w-working (see, I can almost say it!). It's a new season around here. It's been three full months now. We're letting go of some old things and learning to embrace some new ones. Figuring out what works and what doesn't. Doing some evaluating of what's important. Or not.

I'm not gonna lie...it's been tough. For me, a One-Ring-Circus kind of gal, suddenly managing a full-time job, five kids (four of them in sports this fall), all while staying on top of the house and laundry (insert canned laughter here - like that's really going to happen!).

To be honest, I have spent an inordinate amount of time making myself miserable. Wishing for things to orderly, predictable. And right now, they're just...NOT. Wanting to be able to pick up the slack for my family, but right now, I just...can't. Wanting to have unending energy. But I just don't have it.

It's through these times you go back to what's important. Dennis and I had our heart-to-heart (read: he listened while I bawled my eyes out) a couple of weeks ago. We always seem to have those at the end of sports seasons or school semesters, when we're all exhausted, grumpy, and too brain-dead to have a rational conversation like normal people. When we've been running around passing each other but not really communicating. It all gets bottled up, and then one day when I just don't have time for this (usually around midnight), I explode in a fury of tears. I know, I know, not healthy. But after 24 years of marriage, in its own dysfunctional way, it must be working for us. He knows to just wait for it.

So I blubbered and he talked about work and kids and marriage and never-ending house issues and Christmas and whose idea it was to have three kids in December and how on earth are we going to get all this done. That sort of thing. We didn't solve much, mostly because you can't solve things that are part of life and are just tough.

But you can go through them together.

So we are back on the same page, talking. That feels good. Things are slowing down a bit (only two in sports now for basketball season) and on the horizon I can almost taste three weeks off for Christmas....

Meanwhile, over Thanksgiving break I started a new project. Even Dennis agrees it is cheaper and more practical than going to therapy. Hey, and I may even get it done by summer: our sun room.

Here it is in the lovely 80s shades of hunter green, dutch blue and, maroon (Hey, haven't we seen that color before? And my, hasn't Ruthie grown in a year?):
It only took me three tries (plus primer) to find this color (Sherwin Williams - Tiger Eye). I can't seem to catch the light right, but when I do I will post a cleaned up version...
And we've had some firsts around here.

The little girls got to ride in a "float" in Small Town's Christmas (yes, Christmas) parade.
Libby-11 played in her first band concert.

And Neal-15 is, well, FIFTEEN. Today is his birthday, and he managed to drive me home for the very first time today with his shiny new driver's permit. Yes, I am all in one piece. Have I told you lately how much I love that boy?Yes, this has been a tough season for us, but it's also been one filled with beauty and unimaginable joy.

If you give a girl an afternoon

If you give a girl an afternoon (sick children may or may not be included), she will probably look around the house for stuff to do.

If you let her look around the house for stuff to do, she will probably find some power tools.If you give her some power tools, she will probably think up a project (like what to do with ancient bathroom cabinets painted with flat maroon wall paint? Love those peach walls?).If you let her get started, she will probably not stop to clear things off first.
She will probably have stop occasionally to make sure her sick children are doing okay. They are.
If you let her start sanding (who knew there were three colors under there?)......she will probably look around to see what paint she has available. Yes, this black door paint will do just fine (remember when I painted this?).If you let her paint it one color, she will probably change her mind. Too manly. And she will probably want some new hardware...
If you are very patient, and maybe even let her have a couple more evenings, she will probably keep sanding until she comes up with a little distressed look, finished off with some Red Mahogany Minwax Polyshade?
Ah, yes. Just right.

...But...

If you let her do one project, she will probably be looking to the next one...like what to do with faux marble countertops and 1960s mini-medicine cabinets...
Just give her another afternoon...(minus the sick kids would be nice)...

Similar thoughts:
Doing projects with kids around
Homemade baby gifts
Making the most of the home years

Like an old shoe

I thought we were immune, what with seven weeks of swine flu season behind us.

But Sunday afternoon Ruthie-5 said she didn't feel good, and by late evening she had a soaring fever. The pitiful thing. Well, pitiful ("My little head hurts!") when it it's time for another dose of Children's Advil. When under the influence of that miracle elixir, she races around the house acting like she's had a little too much sugar. Oh, to be five again.

It's been a blissful week (for me, anyway). I'm sure they missed me at work (where I spend my days sending sick kids like Ruthie home from school!).

I fell back into the old stay-home routine more easily than slipping on an old shoe, the kind you don't even have to untie first to put on. It rained a bad-hair-misty, soaking rain, so it wasn't like I would have gone out, even if I hadn't had a feverish child.

Ruthie and I watched the Hannah Montana movie. I got some laundry folded. Hung some curtains for the girls (that I bought about six months ago - why do I put off jobs that take 15 minutes??). Ruthie lost a tooth (we've only waited three years for this one (here's where she lost the other front tooth).I organized my shoes. I got to take Neal-14 to school, and pick up Libby-11 in carpool (they've been Allie-16's passengers this year). Who would have thought I'd miss car pool?

(If I had known I would be home with her for three days, I would have painted the bathroom cabinets, but I suppose that will have to wait....hopefully not until the next kid gets sick!)

Anyway, hard as this whole working thing has been, I have to say I love what's happening in our family. We appreciate each other more. We are working together more.

And I don't take days stuck at home with sick kids for granted.

Where, oh, where have you been?

Well, I suppose I should write a post.

I decided to stay home from The Social Event of The Week Friday Night Football Game here in Small Town and act like I am the mother of small children, since I've drug them to the Big Kids' events just about every other night this week. It has gotten to the point that I run a "wakeup bath" every morning for Ruthie-5 to drag entice her bones out of bed. Only two weeks left of volleyball and football, unless of course we go to the playoffs (Softball tends to go on forever, but soccer fortunately for us has mostly been rained out). Big deep breath.

So I fed Libby-11 and two of her friends some mac and cheese and hot dogs and sent them to The Game with Dennis. The other two Big Kids are already there, courtesy of Allie-16's license. Did I mention I love having another driver in the house?

So the Little Girls (5 & 8) are here with me. I promised them earlier in the week that they could have a friend over. They are watching The Little Rascals in between pretending they are horses, galloping all over the house, playing the same songs over and over on the piano, eating popcorn, and otherwise being silly. There is way too much screaming going on as they try to lasso each other. I love it.

It's a good way to end the first six weeks of school. For all of us.

I do hope to get back to blogging regularly at some point. Right now, to be honest, I don't know where to begin. I have lots of mixed feelings about life right now (really enjoying the job, liking the part that makes me feel competent and needed - all that professional stuff I haven't been a part of for the better part of a decade - and SO proud of my family for pitching in and making it work - while at the same fighting fatigue, missing my "old" life, and wishing for a day to sleep in!!). I sit at the computer and can't think of a thing to say that's remotely coherent.

I guess the main thing is that we are hanging in there. I'd like to say it is getting easier, but I think that might be a stretch. Maybe I'm learning to accept that it can be good - and there can even be joy - as Elisabeth Elliot says, in "simply doing the task given us to do."

Mostly that means laundry. And dishes. And getting up the next day.

And sometimes it means missing a social event so I can keep a promise to my kids.

Now where were we?

Okay, I guess blogging once or twice a month is going to be my "new normal." So much to say, so little time!

We are finding a bit of a rhythm. I haven't worked a five-day week since WAY before kids were born, which does not mean I wasn't busy, of course, especially during the thirteen straight years in which I carried a diaper bag. Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING compares to the fatigue of caring for a newborn and a couple of toddlers (and a couple of big kids, and...).

So yes, I'm tired, but hey, at least all my kids are potty-trained, can buckle their own seatbelts, and - in a pinch - a few of them can even make mac n' cheese. So I can't really complain, although I do feel much better after my 15-minute power nap once I get home.

I'm learning a lot, and I must say I love the hugs I get from my little charges wherever I go in town. That, and watching the little ones whisper shyly to their moms, "That's our new nurse!" Pretty cute.

Alrighty then, so how about some pics?

1. Ruthie-5 is now a kindergartner. Bittersweet does not begin to describe how this feels. This year I have two at the elementary school with me, one at the middle school, and two (HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??) in high school. Yes, mornings are just a wee bit busy nowadays. (Dennis has always made lunches for the kids, and as you can see, he is quite the master.)


2. But - fortunately - afternoons are still quite summer-like. So I hold onto my two little ones as if they were still little...sniff!
3. Libby-11 and I had a very nice time on our Passport to Purity weekend. We laughed and talked and ate junk food and made memories. And it was yet another opportunity to show that I simply not possess this generation's ability to take a decent self-portrait.
4. Allie-16 did get her license. Dennis took her to get it the next day, after the tears subsided from our dry run on her birthday. Every time I think of the carpool time I will save memories these two (and Libby, who rides with them as far as the middle school) will make on the road every morning (especially with those rockin' zebra seat covers!), it makes me happy.
5. My $50 landscape has been neglected this summer, but I did manage to get some Knockout roses on clearance in a few weeks ago (they are perking up from their scraggliness, once I finally got them in the ground!), and today I found my favorite nandinas (Gulf Stream) on sale for $6. I DO love a good plant bargain.
It is coming along nicely since I cleared out this spot back in April. Most of the other plants I stole moved or divided or traded with unsuspecting family members. I am so darn cheap, but hey, whatever works.

Blogging is definitely taking a back seat to life right now, and I don't see a fix for this any time in the near future, since I can't even access my personal email from my school office for a little lunchtime blogfest. WAH!

Brief and occasional will be the order of the day. Good enough.

So how are you doing?

Whew! And they're off!

Just a quick note to check in. Yes, I'm alive.

I thought last week was crazy, but apparently, the craziness has only just begun. Last week I had meetings every. day. for my new job as Small Town Elementary's school nurse. My sister Rachel Anne kidnapped the kids one day, and her daughter Lauren came another. She - I hesitate to use the word "babysat" - hung out with the kids. I am truly indebted. Other friends helped out with carpooling and babysitting. Thank you.

Had a little meltdown about Wednesday night, when I started feeling sorry for myself the reality of it all began to sink in. And a few other mini-meltdowns along the way. But it's all good.

This week, the kids started school with me. I pulled teeth, wrapped sprained fingers, and gave out lots of bandaids; it was Allie-16's birthday (we were SEVEN MINUTES LATE to the Department of Public Safety yesterday to get her license - we both cried all the way home); Dennis "interviewed" a boy who has expressed interest in her (an hour after they turned the water back on because - imagine that - the water bill was late, in all the madness the last few weeks); and (why does it always seem to surprise me?) we began juggling sports schedules again.

But I ask myself, "If I didn't have kids, what would I be doing?"

Nope, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

One thing that has been helpful is Kathy Peel's website, FamilyManager.com. I downloaded the Who's Responsible For What form. It's been a great starting point for discussion. When I went through the list, most of the items had defaulted to "MOM." I see where I have not delegated "just because I'm home," or "just because I have time."

We've looked at this form before, but this time it is a true necessity. I think the kids are beginning to "get it" that they must pitch in - not because Mom is a neat freak (yeah, right - that'd be the day!) but because chaos immediately ensues.

The first thing that gets shifted off my plate to someone else's will obviously be getting the bills paid on time.

Trusting

This has been a very weird week. Through a series of odd circumstances that only God could orchestrate, I started the week minding my own business, then looked up yesterday to find myself hired as the elementary school nurse here in Small Town!

Say what?

The mix of hope and dread is a bit disconcerting. Hope that I can make a difference in a child's life, kissing away boo-boos (while I have work hours that finally synch with my own kids'). Dread that I am in WAY over my head, and that I will most certainly lose control of every aspect of my life!

So, uh, what else is new?

Yep, letting go of control seems to be THE recurring theme of my life. The main thing I am having to let go of (with the events of the past year), is my own version of what it means to be a "good mom." Much of which I have subconsciously associated (depending on the stage of my life) with my status as a stay-at-home mom, homeschooling mom, crafty mom, mom whose children love vegetables, mom with ability to accessorize - you fill in your own blank.

I've been most of those at one time or another in my years of being a parent (I bet you can guess which ones I haven't been!), and none of them, in and of themselves, (a) magically improved my relationship with my kids, or (b) made my child's heart turn toward God.

Nope. I guess I am coming down to this (again): I have to believe God can do something incredible in my family, even when the circumstances are not what I deem perfect.

In fact, I would almost go so far as to say He loves to make sure circumstances are NOT perfect, so we will fall on our faces before Him BEGGING Him to salvage what we cannot possibly fix.

I thought this fall would look very different from how it is turning out. Our youngest child is starting kindergarten, and I was dreaming of having a bit more time to blog, garden, get organized, and pursue some other interests. I realize now those are luxuries that may have to wait - maybe until I am a grandmother!

So the question is, can I purpose in my heart to find joy here - now? Can I accept this, as the Psalmist says, as the "portion" He has assigned for me? Can I keep my attitude Christlike (I sometimes like to overlook the fact that He "made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant.")? Can I point my children to Christ, even when I am overwhelmed?

Yes, Lord. I am willing to trust that Your ways are not my ways - that You have a plan for what looks like a detour. That You are there, even when I can't organize, maneuver, or manipulate my way to perfection.

That You are good.

From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

Psalm 62:1

Old thoughts related to this (I told you this was a recurring theme!):
Perfect or best?
The end of the parenting honeymoon
Shelter is not a place
Once-and-for-all parenting

Growing up

This weekend Libby-11 and I are FINALLY going "away" on our Passport to Purity weekend. Poor child. We've been talking about it for over a year - but, what with the move, our austerity budget, Africa, my job...let's just say it got postponed a few times, and when I suggested to Libby that maybe September would be a better time to go, she started crying.

Time is a crazy thing. It is never convenient. Has it really been three years since Dennis took Neal (now 14)? Oh, my.

I was talking recently to a mother whose youngest daughter is getting married soon, and she said, "Once they reach middle school, they're gone." Not GONE-gone, of course. I think it just feels that way. Everything is suddenly at warp-speed. I am already looking at Allie-15 and Neal (who were 11 when they went on their weekends and I thought they were so grown up), and rather than just looking ahead to the school year, I am somehow seeing college, marriage, children. HOW ON EARTH can that be happening while I still have so much parenting to do? But somehow I am as excited about that as I was when they got their first teeth.

So I must seize this opportunity to make a memory with Libby, my middle child. The Ever Patient One who asks so little, and whose growing up has all but taken me by surprise. I wanted to take her to a lake and have a peaceful time in a cabin, but I guess after a year of living in Small Town she has had her fill of "country." So we got a good deal on a hotel near a mall (near our old stomping grounds in Big Suburb). Us country bumpkins will spend the weekend doing "city stuff" while talking about Important Growing Up issues. I can't wait.

Meanwhile, speaking of growing up, while I was outside yesterday, I heard a blood-curdling scream. "MOM!" It was Ruthie-5, yelling out the back door in a way that she usually does when she can't find me and thinks I have left her ("Have I EVER left you alone, Ruthie? No, I will NEVER, EVER leave you!"). Soon she came running around to the front of house where I was, crying hysterically.

I didn't see any blood. "Hey, Ruthie, what's the matter?" I always try to sound so calm. Maybe she broke a bone, that's why there's no blood?

She ran to me as fast as her little legs could carry her. "MOOOOOM!"

"What, Baby, what is it?"

"MOM! I MISS MY HIGH CHAIR!"

Your high chair?

Ruthie and Annie-8 had been playing "baby." Earlier they had asked if they could use the stroller, which - now that our youngest is, um, FIVE - I keep around only for rare trips to amusement parks, mostly to carry all our junk, and with the express instruction that I will push no one who weighs more than 50 lbs (why do all kids think Mom should push, carry, or pull them, even when they are bigger than you?).

Anyway, I guess now the girls wanted to put each other in the high chair, and they couldn't find it.

The hysteria continued to escalate. "WHERE IS MY HIGH CHAIR? I MISS MY HIGH CHAIR!" Tears were streaming down her face and she was gasping for air.

I knew it had gotten hauled off in a pile of junk after the garage sale, but I couldn't tell her that. Nobody would buy it, and not just because it had served four other kids faithfully and was being held together with strapping tape. Somehow in our move, we had lost the tray. Not that she could fit her long, gangly legs under the tray anyway.

I could see that no amount of explaining (such as, "You haven't sat in that ratty thing for two years!") was going to help. We "searched" the garage and the shed. "I'm sorry, Honey. It's not here."

Finally, I had to go for the big guns: "Why don't we make a snow cone and we'll sit and talk about all our memories in the high chair. What flavor shall we make?"

The sobbing began to subside as we ate our black cherry snow cones and talked about baby times and looked at pictures of the beloved high chair, like this one.I found myself getting choked up. Libby came by and whispered to me, "Mom, it's just a high chair."

Sigh. She's right, of course. But, like our upcoming weekend, that high chair represents a fleeting moment in time. One that serves a purpose, marks the beginning of something new, and the end of something precious. It deserves to be treasured and remembered.

Overplanning and underplanning

As I was reading my old post about How Does Your Home Operate, I thought of a couple of potholes that, although on opposite ends of the spectrum, still seem to trip me up equally. It's that Home Management Schizophrenia kicking in again.

Overplanning. When I err on this side, it is usually because of my overly optimistic personality.

"Of course! Thursday will be a great day to do all the laundry, grocery shopping, yard work and bake 400 cookies for the bake sale!"

This frequently happens either because (1) something has happened earlier in the week (sick child, for example) that has pushed these to-do items farther and farther back on the agenda, and I feverishly intend to finish them or else. Or, (2) it's because I secretly know I won't get them all done anyway, but oh, how I love to wallow in the guilt that never-accomplishing tends to breed in my gentle soul.

Sigh.

(For those of you who do have the energy to accomplish those items all on the same day (and hey, why not paint the kitchen, too?), overplanning might not wear YOU out, but your family may not appreciate your slave-driving encouragement toward obsessiveness excellence.)

I know I'm getting into this mode when I begin to hear [insert pleading voice and/or pulling on my clothing to get my attention]: "Mom, just sit down with me," as I'm scurrying through the house. And I know I need to listen when my replies start sounding like this: "I can't. I have too much to do." My priorities get so whacked out sometimes.

Underplanning. Underplanning is much more of an issue with me, maybe because I'm a "lastborn" and I chafe under anything that might tie me down and make me accountable, even when it's self-imposed. It also has a remnant of the "lost" feeling I had fifteen years ago when I started staying home with kids and didn't know what to do to with a suddenly blank week. "Hey, no need to feel bad! I didn't really plan to get that laundry done, anyway. I have all week to do that."

I like to think it's that optimism again: "Hey, it's all gonna work out! I'll get it done eventually!" But Eventually rarely comes. Instead, the evil nemesis, Crisis, and her cousin, Emergency, arrive - unannounced, of course.

Both overplanning (whether I kill everyone in the process of accomplishing everything, or I habitually make promises I can't keep) and underplanning make my kids crazy. They make me crazy.

ACK. Where is the balance?

I suppose I am happiest when I have enough of a plan for the day and/or week that I can easily look at my calendar and know whether or not I am going to be able to say "yes" to watching my neighbor's kids when she has a meeting to go to. Or when I have enough of a plan to not get too bent out of shape when a child gets sick unexpectedly on a day I'd planned on getting a lot accomplished.

I guess I just can't get too hung up in the particulars. In other words, I want to plan with flexibility so that Crisis and Emergency are not the driving force of our family life. Although they may slow things down a bit, they do not make life come to a complete standstill.

For example: My work schedule. It drives us all crazy. It's different every week, and sometimes I don't know what days I'm going to work until - like today - in the morning. Yes, I got a call at 6:45 this morning, and I'm leaving in a few minutes.

But generally, I do know I will be working two days each week, so in my heart of hearts I know I can't loaf off on the other days, whichever ones they are. I just can't. When I am home, I MUST be pecking away at the laundry and maintaining a running list of items I need the kids to help me with. Here is where chore clips have been an absolute life saver.

This is the same when you are "working" at home with a newborn or a houseful of kids. Certain days and certain times of day need to be designated as work times.

I also need to communicate to my family when "work" has ended, and "downtime" has begun. In the last year or so, I have made it a goal not to check email in the evening, because my kids couldn't tell that I was "relaxing." To them, it ALL looks like Mom is working.

Again.

Still.

When I say down time, I even mean planning for some computer down time.

When it comes to the kids, they are really just happy when they know what's coming - whether that means that Saturday is going to be a work day so don't make plans, or that Saturday we are going to a movie. (I feel so smart when I tell them, "After we work on XYZ, let's go to the movies!"). Or when I tell them I am going to be working on the computer (laundry, making dinner, etc.) until 6 o'clock, and then I stick to my word, get OFF, look them in the eye, and maybe even feed them. Or when I tell them I'm going to read them a story or take them clothes shopping, and I don't let other, "more important" things (are they really more important, or are they just urgent?) get in the way.

So I guess this was just a rambling way of saying, remember why you are planning. We are homemakers not housekeepers.

Okay and now I am off to my "other work." I need to make lists for the kids and fold laundry before I go.

Midsummer night's dream of organization?

My summer is really flying by. Right about now is when I start wondering, "Was I crazy to think I'd have MORE time," what with my children all home 24/7, unconstructively occupied and/or bored? And let's not forget my little job, which has somehow mushroomed from Monday-only to, well, way too many hours.

About this time I also start feeling the need to rein in the disorganization that creeps up on all of us as we are in "vacation mode."

I told you last week I'd take the second half of my friend's email (the first half was about activities). This half is mostly about getting organized when you are outnumbered and (most likely) outmaneuvered by your offspring:

Speaking of the home...I feel a little out of control here this summer. I got so used to having kids at school and being on routine, that we are the exact opposite of routine right now. It's like grasping at straw to get the kids to help out. I know I need to make up a chart (they are good with charts) for chores, or some type of system. I just don't know where to begin after the hand method. (Which worked very well for me, thanks!) You don't need to answer me via a long e-mail, but if you could guide me to a few of your posts on the subject, that would be great. I wish I could get my hands on a copy of that book you always talk about. :)

Needless to say, it's been a tough summer so far. I won't say that there haven't been great moments, because there have been! We have had lots of fun family time together. It's just that after a while the kids start getting on each others' nerves (and mine) and it's like we all need a time out from each other. Today I actually wished that there was some kind of re-set button where my house would magically be clean and organized, my children would be getting along, and I could start fresh. But there isn't, and I have to start where I am. Have you ever made a list of the things that are making you unhappy, and then tried to fix them, one at a time? Crazy, I know. I thought maybe I could pinpoint exactly what was bothering me.

Oh girl, have I ever been there. And yes, I have made lists of every kind (remember, before blogs there were JOURNALS). In fact, that's an excellent place to begin.

Lately, for example, I have noticed that my usually-well-mannered youngest two (5 and 8) have been completely AWFUL in the car together. Obnoxious-awful. Hitting-awful (I know! I can't believe it, either!). This, from the two that normally play for hours at a time together.

One day it dawned on me (I'm SO SMART) that it all came down to something very simple: FOOD. Our willy-nilly summer schedule has taken its toll on them. The older kids fend for themselves, and I? Well, let's just say I graze all day eat when I think about it, which is usually, um, a bit irregular.

So imagine that. Routine (yet again) saves the day.

I think this is where those of us "moms in the middle," or veteran moms tend to run into trouble. The big kids are on one schedule, and - if truth be told - they ARE the schedule. Those poor little ones are running behind just as fast as their little pudgy legs can carry them. They try so hard to keep up. And we - when we see that they are falling behind - instead of slowing down, we pick them up and drag them along. And through it all, they are so easygoing.

To a point.

But they sure let you know when they reach that point, don't they (do I hear the brakes screeching??!). Like my girls who just needed a decent, regular meal. They told me by fighting in the car.

Well, rats. I have to go to a basketball game, speaking of dragging little ones along. I have lots of thoughts on this, because I know the frustration so many of you are experiencing, trying to find your stride when, well, you can't find the floor for the debris. For now, I'll leave you with an old post (which links to several even older posts). We can talk some more tomorrow.

How does your home operate?

Out of Africa: an interview with Allie

It's been a week since Allie-15 got back from Africa. We keep getting little bits and pieces - I think the trip is so overwhelming she will be processing all she experienced for quite some time! But I thought I'd sit down with her and ask her a few questions about her trip:

What were some of your team’s main jobs while in South Africa?
The past two weeks have been without a doubt the most life-changing and heart breaking weeks of my life. While in South Africa, one of our main projects was a de-worming project. Children infected with worms in South Africa has been quite an ongoing problem, and the numbers of children infected are continuing to rise. While in the body, the worms eat 70% of the food consumed by the children, leaving them malnourished and starving.

When our group did our de-worming project, we visited different communities in South Africa. The children would make lines depending on their age, and were given their pill for the worms. We would check to make sure they chewed their pill (it turned their tongue white!), then they would get a sandwich, juice, and some chips. Once all the children in the community were fed (there were usually 85-110 children per community) we were given the rest of the time to play and interact with the children. They all liked to get stickers!This was my favorite part - being able to ask them questions about their life, their dreams, and being able to love the children who don’t ever receive love. It is the greatest experience, being able to see children who are so happy to live with almost nothing, and to see the love the children display to others.

Did you meet anyone on the trip that really impacted you?
When we drove up to a certain community and got out of the van, this little girl caught my eye. There was a whole group of younger girls, all in a circle, but she was away from them, sitting by herself on the ground with her head down.

After setting up everything we needed for the food and pills, I walked up to her, and sat on the ground next to her. I said hello, with a big smile on my face. She couldn’t even look up at me, and I could see the tears coming down her face. Her friends walked up to me, and said she was 5 years old, and that her name was Inez. They also said that her older sister (about 12) could no longer care for her, and had dropped her off in this community about a month ago. This left Inez and her seven-year-old sister by themselves.
After we fed the children, I got to spend my time with Inez. She warmed up so quickly, and when a smile finally came on her face, it made me feel a feeling I had never felt before in my life. She was so adorable, and she loved to sit in my lap and play peek-a-boo games, and play with my hands.

As it was time to leave, I realized that I would have to say goodbye to Inez. I walked to her with my arms out and said goodbye, and she looked up at me and started to cry. My heart broke into a thousand pieces. I realized that she probably hasn’t had attention like this in the longest time, and now we all had to go - leaving her alone, with no family, or no home.

That next Sunday, we visited a local church. As I walked through the doors, there was Inez, sitting in the corner of the tiny little church. Her face lit up and she smiled the biggest grin. When she hugged me, and I realized that Inez was one of the reasons I came to Africa. To unconditionally love someone, who receives none.

What else exciting happened while you were on the trip?

We met two teams of volunteers - on from the UK and one from Australia. It was a really cool experience meeting teens from around the world.

I learned that cream soda is GREEN in South Africa, "pancakes" are really what we would call crepes, and girls call their bangs their "fringe."

And we saw some very large bugs!On the weekends we got to do some sightseeing, including visiting famous places like God's Window, Mac Mac Falls, The Pinnacle and The Potholes.

On the last weekend of the trip, we visited Kruger National Park. I can tell you one thing, I will never look at the Dallas Zoo the same! At Kruger, the animals roam free, and you drive through the park with your windows down, and you can see all of Africa’s amazing animals. Elephants and giraffes leisurely walk across the roads, and cheetahs play with their cubs on the road sides. You get to see how the wild animals interact in their own habitat.

Here is a leopard we saw:
It was amazing to see all of the animals in Africa at arm’s length out the window! It’s crazy to think that Kruger is the size of Israel. We drove for 11 hours throughout the park, and only traveled a tiny bit of it! If you’re ever considering going to South Africa, Kruger National Park should definitely be on your list of things to see.

How has this trip to South Africa impacted you?
This is without a doubt, the greatest experience I have ever had. The Lord really blessed me on this trip, and especially with finances. Thank you all who contributed in donations to make it possible for me to go on this trip.

The Lord showed me many things on this trip. I realized, here in America, 16-year-old girls my age take so many things for granted. Girls think that when you turn 16, they “expect” to get a car for their birthday. They “expect” to have a Sweet 16 birthday party, and in America, if you don’t have a cell phone, you have it pretty rough. That is SO not reality!

Take a walk into a community in South Africa. Even adults don’t have cars, unless you have some kind of money-which trust me, not many do. Women walk miles and miles with giant water basins on their heads, and don’t even complain - and yet teenagers here complain if we have to walk a couple streets over! It made me realize that the things that I had been “expecting” at home were things that I don’t “need.” They’re what America is making teenagers think is acceptable and necessary, and that is ridiculous.

Working with Hands at Work was such a great experience. My parents and I have talked about it, and I plan* to go again to South Africa next summer. The Lord has really shown me that missions is where my heart is. I think that it is important to go somewhere like this, at the age that I am. If any of you are reading this, and you have a teenager who wants to do out-of-the-country missions and you are hesitant about it, let them go! You will not regret it. Even if you aren’t a teenager, and you want to go, you will not come home the same. You are changed. And you get the missions “bug”- and want to go to every inch of every continent, and love and be Jesus to everyone.


But again, I wanted to thank everyone who made it possible for me to go on this trip! God bless you guys. I have so many stories I could tell, about this trip. So if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

*Warning to parents: see what happens when you let them go once??

Random

On the way home from the airport the other night, Allie-15 was telling us about her trip to Africa. It was close to midnight and we were having a very big-picture conversation about poverty, illness, culture, God and life lessons.

Out of the blue, Ruthie-5 interjects, "I have something to say!" (she had obviously been trying to say something for quite some time, but nobody had been paying attention to her).

"Yes, Ruthie, what do you have to say?" we asked her.

"Um. I saw, like, a thousand million shooting stars when we were at camp."

A stunned silence followed. Camp was, like, a month ago. Where on earth did that come from?

A little snickering was nipped in the bud by a DON'T SAY ANYTHING OR ELSE look from me. Then they got it: the kids took cues from each other: "Wow, Ruthie, that is so awesome! I love shooting stars!" Then we had a little conversation about stars.

Africa. Poverty. Illness. Stars.

Yep, I love the element of "random" around here. It's is one of the Great Mysteries of family life. It helps us keep things light, and, even with a carload of kids at midnight, it has a sneaky way of putting things in perspective.

He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Psalm 147:4