Monday, August 07, 2006

Manhood training

After breakfast Saturday, my husband Dennis announced he was taking our son (11) shopping for school clothes. Since we all know how much I love shopping, I was dancing the twostep right there in my kitchen I was crying buckets of tears.

They left at around 10 a.m. with their mission: two pairs of shorts, three shirts, and a belt.

I busied myself around the house and tried not to think about it. What would they buy? Would it match? How much would they spend?

Around 1:00 I finally heard from them. “We’re stopping to get a bite to eat. We’re beat.”

“How’s the shopping going?”

“Nothing yet, but we’re still pressing on!”

Three hours and nothing? Obviously, my husband and son have more stamina than the females of this household do. My daughter and I went out the other day and got everything we needed in one hour and forty minutes, and that included a Sonic cherry limeade stop. Her comment as I made her try on one more pair of jeans: “I hate shopping.”

What kind of girls am I raising, anyway?

By three o’clock they were finally back (had to make another stop for a slushee to make it to the final stop). A couple of bedraggled guys slowly shuffled into the house heaving their few bags of clothes.

Finally, success.

Of course, I appreciate all the sacrifices Dennis makes on my behalf. And especially anything that has to do with keeping me from having to face the retail world.

But he is quick to point out this shopping expedition is part of manhood training for our son.

Ever since he attended The Quest for Authentic Manhood series, Dennis has been looking for opportunities to help our son identify more with him, and - the killer - less with me. One of the sessions is titled “Making a Healthy Break from Mom.” Huh? I’m just dyin' here.

It is all part of going from boy to man that I hadn’t counted on when I was tenderly fingering those little baby curls and rocking his sweet chubbiness in the rocking chair. The part of me that selfishly wants to be the greatest influence in this boy’s life is having to let go - slowly - as his grip is strengthened, and he is sharpened to be the man God wants him to be.

Who would have thought I'd have such a hard time letting go in an area I claim no expertise in - fashion?

Sigh. A mother simply can’t do it all.

Our son needs a man willing to show him how to be a man.

Even if that means Dad is the one telling him how to dress.

If you want a sample of what your husband will hear if he attends this 24-session seminar, go here and click on the right, where it says video samples. Start with “What Every Son Needs to Hear.”

Keep the tissue handy.


Anonymous said...

Wow - great post. And I'm definitely going to check out the trailers on this seminar. It sounds awesome.

Our boys are now 18 and 17 and I can so totally relate to the whole separation thing. I even posted on it yesterday. Letting go is the ultimate act of love at a certain point , but's painful for us moms!

Jennifer said...

That is an amazing post with truth written especially for moms with sons, I'd love to hear more from you on the topic in the future. Since I don't have a son, I can't imagine having to make a "healthy break" from mama. The thought would break my heart but I'm sure it's so necessary in this day and age.

Andrew McAllister said...

A healthy break from mom? Boy, that wouldn't fly at our house. With two working parents, we do everything we can to get both of us as much time with the kids as we can.

Kristina at Learn2Luv2Run said...

so did he get the clothes?

Wendy said...

What a Dad! That is awesome. So, how did they do? Did they get things that matched okay?

Everyday is a little more about letting go, isn't it. It is good, but hard too.

Katherine@Raising Five said...

Yes, Kristina and Wendy - they did a great job! Matching and everything. Spent a bit more than I would (mostly on FOOD!).

Andrew - I hear you. Time is precious, and it is tough balancing working with parenting. Time with our son isn't really what I was referring to, though, when I mentioned a "break from mom." It's watching him grow from boy to man. Bittersweet to say the least!

Theresa said...

I'm so with you on the whole shopping thing! Especially when it's time to shop for a new bra...I'd rather have a root canal!!

Jan/ said...

I love your blog! Sometimes you make me cry, but mostly you make me laugh, usually at myself. Thanks!