Friday, September 29, 2006

More on mercies

In case you were wondering if I were going to turn my new "boundaries in blogging" plan into a three-day weekend, you are almost correct. I've been mulling over Gwen's comment to my post yesterday. In it, I referred to Elisabeth Elliot's definition of God's apparent refusal to answer some of our prayers as His mercies.

I wasn't sure I'd even be able to write anything today.

You see, this morning I ventured over to Gwen's site, Ivey Sirmans, dedicated to her five-month-old baby girl born with a genetic disorder. Her steadiness of faith through this journey, as evidenced in each and every post, made everything suddenly come into sharp perspective for me.

My perspective being - no surprise here - one of selfishness. Shamefully so. Nothing I have ever gone through as a mother could touch the tip of the iceberg of Gwen's experience. Instead, I've spent lots of time wishing a life of convenience to my own plan. Even though I would like to deny it, there are parts of me that secretly think I "deserve" some type of personal fulfillment in this life, but especially in motherhood.

But scripture is quite clear that God's kingdom isn't much about self. If we wish to be great, we need to be the servant of all. It is in giving that we receive. It is in dying that we find life. His life.

I know this, but do I live like I believe it?

I love the way Gwen puts it: "This is the story of our new 'normal.'" In the same breath that she talks about doctors and feeding devices and the profound impact of having a child with a rare syndrome, she celebrates the sheer wonder of her blind baby girl smiling at the sound of her voice. This is her life.

A life of sacrifice. A life of difficulty. A life of uncertainty.

Thank you, Gwen, for reminding me that, safe in His everlasting arms, it can be a life of joy.
Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.

“ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,
“ Therefore I hope in Him!”

Lamentations 3:22-24

2 comments:

JenMom said...

Hi. This is the Jennifer that sent Gwen to your site. Gwen is a friend in real life and I can attest to the fact that she is a walking, talking, living, breathing example of taking your portion and your cup, honestly dealing with God about it and then doing what she needs to do.
I am mostly a lurker on your site...but LOVE your writing and your perspective.

Sarah's In the Midst of It said...

Katherine, Jenmom "introduced" me to Gwen after my own baby girl was born with problems, and Gwen has become such an encourager to me! Thanks for linking to her; I know her site will be a blessing to your readers.