Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Attitudes and indigestion

Dinner last night was terrible. Not my roast, which was wonderful, thankyouverymuch. My husband Dennis was working unexpectedly late last night, and everyone was hungry and tired by the time I decided not to wait any longer to feed the masses.

No, the food was great.

It was attitudes.

They were awful.

They spilled from a sarcastic comment or two, and then oozed into a hateful look. From there, they went cascading down a steep cliff of unkindness. The whole unpleasant meal ended abruptly with some being excused to their rooms, and others being sent to bed early. Two more were grounded. We all suffered from a serious case of indigestion.

It is during these times I really do not like being the mom. I want someone else to step in and stop the downward spiral toward chaos. I want to walk out and hope it will go away on its own.

And yet…

My kids need me to be the standard bearer. To be their consciences until theirs are fully functioning. To show them what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior, even when everyone's hungry and tired.

It’s the part of “love” that has to be tough, even when everything in me says, “Give up! It’s a lost cause!”

Last night’s dinner didn’t end well. There were lots of tears, and I doubted my decision to bring down the hammer during a usually enjoyable (if not loud) time together.

But an hour of separation later, a few “I’m sorry’s” began to trickle in. By bedtime, most everyone had forgotten the ordeal. There was a little laughter without sarcasm, and even some teasing without mean-spiritedness. This morning began with hugs and sweetness.

Hmm. Just think what a few days of grounding will do?

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11, NIV


Anonymous said...

Oh, how I can relate. Many nights my husband is not home until 10, so to get everything done there is stress on all our parts, which often leads to arguing. It's hard to be the Mama then. Sounds like you did a great job though:)

Anonymous said...

We've had a few of these. Hope today is a better day.

I tagged you, if you're up for it.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand; we have days like this also!! I believe all moms do.

Thank you for the comment on my blog........I am honored that you stopped by for a visit! :)

~Candi (homekeeper at heart)

Anonymous said...

That is hard. But you rose to the challenge and the result was good.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I really need to post that scripture in every room of my house. I find it so hard to stick to my discipline (not that I don't, but it is heartwrenching at times). And, I have been known to let some things *slide* when I shouldn't. All the while knowing that this is not the best for my children. I'm so glad you shared this...I'm sorry for your evening being filled with "attitudes and indigestion", but thank you for the lesson you taught me with it! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Some nights, family dinners are just so stressful that I really sympathize with families that have given up and eat in the living room all the time. We still keep at it, though. I SO relate to this post!

Anonymous said...

Some nights, family dinners are just so stressful that I really sympathize with families that have given up and eat in the living room all the time. We still keep at it, though. I SO relate to this post!

Anonymous said...

You do make me cry (well, tears in my eyes!). Congrats on your Sweet Scent Award. It's obvious that you enjoy being a mommy to your brood. I am encouraged to be a better mom everytime I read your blog. Loved the story about your 9yo. Thanks for your transparency. With 4 kids, I've been there w/ the dinner fiasco. Sounds like it had a good effect though.
God bless!

Anonymous said...

Katherine, I read your post this morning after having just sent my 3yo to her room for not obeying the first time I asked (it was only 7 am!). Something I was praying about this morning was that I would have wisdom in knowing how to help her have a more positive attitude in the morning. It's hard to describe in just a short comment, but the last few days waking up time has been like fingernails on a chalkboard for me - all I hear is whining, etc from her room until I come to get her out of bed. And usually I'm in the living room, trying to have some time in prayer before the kids get up. Do you have any experience with this??? I'd love to hear any ideas.

Granny said...

The attitude thing...must be something in the water. Do you live near me?

It's nice to be reminded that we're not the only family that struggles here :-)

Anonymous said...

oh i have to say i love that verse!

Anonymous said...

What a testament to your training that within an hour, "I'm sorry"'s were trickling in, and the morning began with hugs.
The verse from Hebrews is so convicting - I'm a Mama who needs lots of discipline myself. I mustn't be too proud to take the same medicine I require my children to take.

Laura said...

Katherine I had the exact same night last night as you, oh except I blew it and didn't rise to the challenge...lets just say that I should have been the one grounded for MY behaviour. I'm going to take that verse and keep it within eyesight at all times. Now please tell me how you handle lying because I'm fresh out of ideas and am hoping you can help.

Anonymous said...

Oh my. I am NOT looking forward to those nights but I'll remember this scripture when they do start. I think that even in spite of such a bad evening, you'll be amazed at the memories and lessons that were taken from it. =)

Jennifer said...

These times are coming for us, I know, and I just hope I have the composure to discipline firmly and consistently. Thanks for sharing this!

Anonymous said...

You're so smart. Wise. Doing what's best even when it's hard. And you know it's hard, so we don't hate it for it.