When we all got settled in and the coast was finally clear for me to check email, I was stopped short by a comment from my new friend Margo on Thursday's post. Here’s a portion of it:
I want so much to give myself over 100% to being a mother, but there is still part of me that wants to hold back and hurry these years along so that I can have my freedom again. I know, however, that God is calling me in a different direction-away from my own selfish desires and into my role as mother. I want to embrace these years and stop whining and complaining...I have to get past this stumbling block called selfishness. Pray for me as I learn to give myself and my life completely over to Him.Margo so beautifully described my heart's desire - embracing the place God has for me. Here. Now. Not wanting out, not wanting more (or less, as in the case of housework, messes, laundry!) but accepting His will for me in the moment. Leaning in to it. Finding joy in it. Investing in it, not sliding by with the least amount of effort just to get through.
Amazingly, here (though it seems so confining) is where freedom - true freedom, not the me-centered "freedom" as the world defines it - is found.
But will I see it? Will I welcome the challenges as from His hand? Will I see these constraints on my freedom as the road that leads to it?
That is my heart’s prayer today. May I embrace it. May I embrace Him.
I will walk about in freedom,
for I have sought out your precepts.