Friday, November 30, 2007

A note about notes

I was putting Allie's note in her sock drawer this morning, and I smiled as I read her Daddy's words.

(And yes, that says, "Your adoring DAD," not "God." Freudian slip perhaps, but more likely, problems with my picture editor...)

I thought I should make a comment here and clarify some things. First of all, you should know that Allie is a NORMAL, occasionally hormonal, fourteen-year-old. We definitely have our moments!

This note complimenting her beautiful character is, in part, a "faith statement." Yes, we are seeing it, but we are not seeing it 24/7. I wish it were so, but then she wouldn't be 14...or human...

She (like all of us) is a work in progress, and we spend plenty of time focusing on those areas that need shoring up. I'm sure she feels sometimes that ALL we see are her flaws.

However, the things we want to put in writing - to be stored for all eternity in her sock drawer - are those words that give her a glimpse of how crazy we are about her as her parents. And at the same time, encourage her to see herself as the person we know God has designed her to be and to become.

Beautiful, on the outside and on the inside.

Believe me, children of any age never tire of hearing this.

Or reading it.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10


Nicole said...

Hi Katherine! I was so encouraged and challenged by your story about you and Allie. I guess bc I didn't grow up in a Christian home and got saved in college, I tend to want to over protect. I am learning the balance. We just went through this for the first time with my 9 year old about some music choices--can this already be happening??! You and your husband sound like awesome parents...I will be sending questions your way! Have a great weekend.

Susanne said...

And that is postive parenting, Katherine! I find that when I'm careful to intentionally do little things like notes that build them up they tend to rise more to that than constantly pointing out what they need to work on or improve on.

Anonymous said...

Katherine, I was so touched by this story and it reminded me to take the time to plan for special moments with my kids. I am also VERY impressed with your husband's handwriting! :) My hubby is a talented guy, but if he left a note for my kids, they wouldn't even be able to read it! :)

kittyhox said...

I love what you said about "faith statements" and what you put in permanent writing about their kids!!

This is kind of silly, but for some reason, I always remember that when I got my driver's permit my mother made me a funny card that was like a newspaper article about the fact that I would be driving. Her interview "quote" was that she knew I would be a very good, courteous, and safe driver. I think that's why I always was! My friends were crazy, distracted, speeding drivers. I was always the stick-in-the-mud "Everybody stop hanging things out of my cars windows and shut up so I can concentrate and don't make me pull this car over!" kind of driver. In hindsight I think it was because I believed how my mother had pre-defined me.

Sorry for the (as usual) long comment, but I just thought what you shared was so wise and I really think it's a great way to mold a person's character. Emphasizing/highlighting/expecting their best qualities and defining them as God sees them.

Elspeth said...

Your children are blessed indeed!

fAiThFuL cHiCk said...

A phrase that I have come to love is "disappointment is not a motivator". When we think the best of one another, especially when we write it down, it creates a climate where our loved ones want to live up to those best expectations. I am certain Allie will treasure that note forever. Big cheers to your man for doing that. A girl's future love relationships depend so much on her relationship with her father. You guys are creating a great foundation.

faithful chick

Antique Mommy said...

Oh that all 14YO girls would get notes of unabashed love and encouragement like this from their fathers. I'm sure the world would be a better place because of it.

~Rhen @yestheyareallmine said...

That is absolutely wonderful! Positive notes like that stick with them for so long.

Marc and Charity said...

Hi Katherine,
What a sweet letter your hubs wrote your daughter! How blessed your kids are to have you and him as mom and dad!

Anonymous said...

Hi katherine, as a parent of a 13 yr girl I know you have no need to clarify that Allie is not perfect 24/7, but what a blessing to have a teenage girl who is at least trying to make the right choices. I feel the same way. My hubby just took ours a 6 hour drive to see the teen sensations of the moment (The Jonas Bros). Hearing her squeal with delight as she called from the line she waited in for 6 hours was priceless. I'm going to try to blog about it tomorrow. Anyway I can so relate to your feelings about the concert and your time with her. Enjoy every minute with her - I know you do. Having friends with a "prodigal" who would wish one minute of what I have back, keeps me from taking it for granted.