Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Oh, what a tangled web

I don't know about you, but I can't seem to go anywhere without getting a phone call. "Mom, when are you coming home?" is the usual question. Can I not get to the TP aisle in peace, people?

The other day I was on a Walmart run (remember, Walmart is now 14 miles away) and my phone rang. Instead of the kids, it was Dennis.

"Are you coming home soon?"

Well, no, I'm in the produce aisle. At Walmart. The lines are 15 people deep.

"Annie-7 has a hairbrush stuck in her hair. Can you please hurry?"

Well of course, Honey. I'll just leave my three carts full of groceries right here by the bananas, and I'll be right home.

Not.

I could hear wailing in the background. Apparently she had found a round brush and had rolled it in knots. The more she tried to untangle it, the more tangled it became and the more hysterical she got. The brush was now sticking out of the top of her head like a unicorn horn.

I told him to find my Very Expensive Hair Straightener Spray that has Teflon in it. "Try that and let me know how it goes."

No luck.

Yup, the girls have been playing "beauty shop" nonstop for weeks now. Here they are, setting up shop, without so much as clearing the peanut-butter-and-honey breakfast off the table first (no, we are not a licensed facility, just in case you were wondering, but if you ever come over to eat here, we'll be sure to look things over to make certain there are no hairs in your food).


A few phone calls later, still no luck. At this point, I'm feverishly rushing through the store trying to get home, imagining that frustration was going to overtake fashion sense, and I would come home to a crazed, wild-eyed husband, scissors in quivering hand, seven-year-old rocking in fetal position in the corner, and a mountain of hair on the floor.

At one point things got so bad, Dennis had Annie lie down on the sofa. There she lay, waiting for me, arms crossed resignedly, unicorn horn sticking straight up. Dennis didn't have the blog sense to take a picture of the scene, but here's one of Ruthie when she was 2, in the same boat:

Finally (about the time I was 4th in line at the checkout) Dennis called me again. He had Annie in the shower, pouring conditioner on her head and teasing the hairs out one by one. "We might need a bit more conditioner." (Oh, for a camera at that moment! I can just imagine his big man-hands holding her little head and thinking, How on earth did I end up with four girls?).

Victory at last.

I got home to find the beauty shop still set up - my Very Expensive Hair Straightener Spray bottle almost empty - Dennis calmly back at work, children unscathed.

And a round brush, full of long brown hair, in the trash.

20 comments:

Fuschia said...

Holy cow, if that weren't something that could SO happen around here, I'd be laughing hysterically. Instead, I'm off to purge the house of any and all round hairbrushes!!

Debbie said...

Great post. This happened to my 22 year old neice prior to her graduation party. Guests came and there she was, sitting at the kitchen table, hairbrush hopelessly stuck in her hair. Maybe you'll be done with it now!

blessedwith5 said...

Wow . . . that is ONE I don't have to face!!! What an experience!

Leslie said...

I'm not sure whether to feel badly for the little one, laugh, or feel badly for wanting to laugh. I loved this post. :)

Grafted Branch@Restoring the Years said...

LOL! Mine prefer combs...straight combs...rolled tight to the top of their heads. Ugh. I never thought to use conditioner or teflon. Apparently I thought yelling and crying would do as well. :(

Susanne said...

Oh wow. I thought the second phone call would for sure tell you that "Not to worry. Take your time coming home. I cut it out". Oi. Them round brushes need to come with a warning label.

Spencer said...

Nice.
where's the pic of that??

Joy said...

Hilarious! So glad it all worked out. You described it so well, we didn't need a picture, but I do love that line "didn't have the blog sense to take a picture". Too funny!

Jill said...

I guess I better go hide my round brush from the girls. I'm not sure which would be worth their hair or heaven forbid an American Girl Doll hair. I know the later would be more expensive to replace; real hair at least grows.
It has however taken 1 year for the 3yr old to grow back the hair she cut off last September.

Jill said...

I guess I better go hide my round brush from the girls. I'm not sure which would be worth their hair or heaven forbid an American Girl Doll hair. I know the later would be more expensive to replace; real hair at least grows.
It has however taken 1 year for the 3yr old to grow back the hair she cut off last September.

Code Yellow Mom said...

I love "didn't have the blog sense to take a picture" - he, he, he.

It happens to every girl at least once, I think. Ouch.

Once my grandma told me that telling lies was like winding that hairbrush - it starts with one little twist, then the more you lie, the more you feel like you have to lie, until finally you're so tangled up, your head hurts, and you look stupid. :) How's that for a moral to the story?

Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry said...

OOH, girl. But for the grace of God...

My girls love to "play with" my hair, and I always end up with a lovely tiara of clippies on top of my head. I don't care; it feels good.

BUT. Tink loves to get a brush or comb and start winding it up in my hair, and if I'm not paying good attention, OUCH! Thank goodness we've gotten away without a serious incident.

So far.

Jen said...

Hilarious...but if you have girls you will experience this...lol.....poor Dennis.

Fuschia said...

I gave you an award today!! :)

Donna said...

Oh my, this is SO my house. Always a catastrophe around the corner and always when I'm busy.

Amy said...

to be a fly on the wall at that priceless moment....

TMOsbabe said...

I do agree...round brushes need a warning label!!

Beck said...

Poor baby girl! That happened to my oldest when she was bitty and I've since banned round brushes, since my kids don't seem any less likely to tangle a brush in their hair again...

~Rhen @yestheyareallmine said...

I love that the offending brush was in the trash. LOL

I have a round brush that I have had to detangle from some of my girls' heads at least twice in the last month.
They just never learn! :)

MoziEsmé said...

I remember those days as a kid! The pain of those brushes, and the stupidity of rolling my hair in them multiple times!

Glad the crisis was managed and all is under control now!