Anyway, Annie-7 could not find a pair of shoes to save her life. Ruthie-4 was crying about her ant bites. Allie-15 didn't feel well, and, in the middle of the morning rush, proceeded to lie down on the sofa. Dennis needed to leave so he could get to a breakfast meeting, so I felt even more under the gun. I rolled right into Drill Sergeant Mode, barking orders and talking in short, one-syllable sound-bytes, like, "Get. Your. Shoes. On. Now."
By the time I got everyone fed and ready for school, I was in a pool of sweat and feeling discouraged about the mess that faces me, about the way I should have gotten ahead of things last night but didn't, and about the way I didn't handle the morning very well.
Wouldn't you know, my Bible reading took me to the first chapter of Matthew. I usually bleep over the genealogies, but I was so encouraged to read that the heritage of Jesus includes four very human women:
- Tamar (was raped and used trickery so she could bear a son)
- Rahab (a former prostitute)
- Ruth (a non-Israelite widow)
- Bathsheba (committed adultery)
It makes me think that some of Jesus' great-great-grandmothers might have prayed some prayers I pray, like: God, please don't let them have my hangups! Or, Please don't let them be permanently scarred by my Drill Sergeant-ness (oh, wait, maybe that's only my problem!). Or, Please take the pieces of where I've messed up and turn them into something beautiful!
Some day in heaven I'll introduce myself to these mothers and ask them how they did it, when times were tough and they felt like they'd blown it. Or maybe when they felt inadequate for the job of parenting.
I have a feeling they will look at me with a whole lot of understanding, maybe even with a tear or two in their eyes, and answer something like this: "I kept on going, because I knew that the end of the family tree was Christ."
Yep, I think I'd like these ladies. I can learn something about grace from them.
In Him all things hold together.