Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Show me the throw-up

My kids have tried every excuse in the book to get out of school and church and about every other very important obligation. I was going to say sports, but I don't think we've ever had that problem.

"I don't feel good!"
"My tummy hurts!"
"I have a headache!"
"I think I'm going to throw up!"

Call me hardened. Call me jaded. Call me a crusty old ICU nurse ("I know what critically ill is, and you are not critically ill."). Listen, I know there are days when you don't feel like getting up and moving on, but ya just have to make yourself get moving anyway. Besides, if I had to stop everything every. single. time. someone got a runny nose (or my favorite nebulously non-specific description: "flu-like symptoms") around here, we'd never go ANYWHERE.

My criteria for getting out of Very Important Obligations is one or both of the following:

1. Fever. Not this 99.5 nonsense. That's what a cool shower and Tylenol is for. Call me when you're edging on 101.

2. Throw-up. This one is obvious.

So now the running joke when they want to get out of something is, "Baby, show me the throw-up!"
Works like a charm. When they can't come up with good, solid (or even chunky) evidence, they slink back to their rooms and get out of their jammies and into their school clothes.

Of course, there ARE times when this comes back to bite me in the you-know-what. This weekend Annie-7 complained of a sore throat, but I drug that poor child all over creation anyway. I gave her Ibuprofen, something warm to drink, a few "I'm so sorry you feel bad's," and went on with things.

Yesterday morning she woke up with 102.5 fever. And today I apologized all the way from the doctor's office to the pharmacy as we stopped to pick up antibiotics for STREP.

She didn't have to show me the throw-up, but wow, did she ever show me the fever. Poor baby.


mholgate said...

I can totally relate! On Sunday I made my 7 year old go to church because she wasn't running a fever or throwing up. I am sure that she really had a tummy ache, because we've been dealing with her sensitive system lately. But I also knew that once she got moving and got to Sunday school, she'd feel better. Guess what? She did!

There have been times when I guessed wrong too though. My kids don't tend to run a fever when they get the flu, so I have sent them to school before only to have to pick them up from the nurse's office later that day!


Lindsay said...

LOL about the throw up!! Poor kiddo... hope she starts feeling better soon.. Only thing I will add to that list is yellow crusted over eyes.. I had pink eye so many times growing up yuck!

se7en said...

Oh this painfully funny, and I mean painfully. Not so much with my kids but my poor husband. He only ever gets sick on weekends or during his annual leave from work. By which stage I am so desperate for some time all together as a family... I always say buck up and get on with doing the family thing... and inevitably he takes days to get sicker and then a trip to the doc and then bed rest... what can I say kids bounce back - but husbands just don't... I should know that already but I never ever learn.

Hope your little one feels better soon.

Katherine@Raising Five said...

LOL Lindsay - there are so many things we could add: "Show me weeping rash!"

But you just gotta love "Show me the yellow crusties!" Totally works for me!

Julie said...

We had the same rule growing up. I will confess to sticking the thermometer onto a lightbulb to fake a fever :-) So you can bet that my kids will be taking their temp in front of mom.

Mothership said...

I am so glad I'm not the only one who does this . . .my sister-in-laws are the stay-home-because-of-clear snot types and they don't approve of my buck-it-up attitude.

By the way, my girl has a problem with tights (which I make her wear in the winter so the old ladies at church don't yell at me). One morning before church, she was pulling the "feeling sick" card. I KNEW it was because of the tights and could not believe we had come to that. On the way to church, she said, "My chin feels tight" and she was making that well-known sound with a too-watery mouth. Moments later came the proof that the issue WASN'T tights. Oops.

E. Tyler Rowan said...

I'm am LOL at the comments. Yellow crusties - ewww, but true. Make her wear tights "so the old ladies at church don't yell" - hilarious, also true. Stay at home for clear snot - heck, we don't even stay at home for green snot! :)

Mommahen said...

Okay, I left this comment earlier--maybe I just left it on someone else's blog.

My guys had strep this weekend. Are you sure they did not spend time with Annie? I took my 12 yo old in to the dr Monday because he was complaining of a sore throat on Sunday. I also took my 6 yo because I thought he had a staph infection on his lips. (He has severe eczema and scratches his skin raw).

When the doctor did the swab on my 12 yo old's throat it came out yellow and blood filled. Then, he swabed my 6 yo and found that he had strep AND a staph infection!

So I guess mine can be "show me your oozing bloody tonsils!"

Does that make me sound bad?

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Oh my gosh! This reminds me of my own childhood so much. My mom was an RN and my dad is a dentist. There was NO faking sick to get out of school. We had to be SERIOUSLY sick. No fun then - totally understand now!

Maureen said...

I hope she feels better soon. Strep is rotten! Don't beat yourself up too much. I have done the same thing a time or two!

amy@flexibledreams said...

You sound EXACTLY like my mom when I was growing up. Most mornings a hot shower and breakfast will cure whatever is ailing me.

Les & Sweetie Berry said...

and Chaser says to me after missing one day yesterday knowing we'll be gone on Friday due to a family trip..."won't it look weird for me to come back for just one day....maybe you should let me be sick today too and just miss through Monday" yeah..right son...yesterday you WERE sick, Friday is excused because of your event in AR, but today, today is a great day for makeup and doing the pre absence work! Generous of him to offer though.... :)
hugs and hope yours feel better soon!

Susanne said...

Been there done that and lived with mother guilt for days!