Well, I'll tell you.
1. Senior-itis. Having a senior is, well, amazing. I know I'll feel this way with all the others, but somehow watching your oldest go from being a self-centered child to a self-giving young adult in 18 years is nothing short of breathtaking. After weeks of parties, bonfires, and hanging out until the wee hours with friends, she's all ready to go to off to college. At this moment she's on another mission trip to South Africa. I could not be more humbled that God saw fit to let me - impatient and imperfect - be her mother. Behold the Lord's handiwork.
2. Work-itis. I resigned my school nurse job at the end of this school year. I do believe God miraculously used this job three years ago (has it been that long?!) to provide for our family at a time when we needed it most, and I am thankful. I worked with an amazing group of believers, and I love my little patients, but - being the one-ring-circus girl that I am - I needed to
3. The Rest of Life. Right now I feel a little scattered, going from 100 miles an hour to almost zero in a matter of weeks. Where do I start? I am plugging away at finding which way is up, cleaning closets and going through papers that have piled up over the last three years, while driving kids to sports camps, doctor appointments, and trying to keep everyone fed with anything but Ramen and Mac N Cheese.
I think I say this every summer, but this one especially, since I will have another senior next year (great family planning, I know!). I will have kids in FOUR schools (if you count college) next year. This last year I had more than my share of "oopses" - missed dental appointments, games, bills, etc., etc., etc. If I were ever proud of being organized, the sheer number of things to remember (or forget, as the case may be) has kept me humbly begging forgiveness. A lot.
4. Pondering. I am blessed. Sometimes I forget that. This new season of life is crazy-busy in a way that's different from the last one. Remember how it feels when your toddler is this close to being potty trained? You know it's coming, and every now and then you get little (dry) glimpses of what your life will be like diaper-free.
Well, that is what it is like having three teens, a pre-teen and an eight-year-old in the house. Sometimes they are all getting along, telling each other how much they love each other, and I think, "Wow, this is awesome! I must be such a great parent!" And then the next minute they are arguing over who gets the last of the Cocoa Krispies, or whose turn it is on the computer, or do you really need a logical reason to argue? And the next thing you know, someone is running crying out of the room. It is exhilarating and frustrating and wonderful and irritating and deflating all at the same time. It keeps me focused on Jesus, not my ability to do it all right. I keep loving them and trusting Him, Who knows the end from the beginning, and whose children they are in the first place.
If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.
2 Timothy 2:13